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Ксения Чилингарова — о том, как мода помогает пережить непростые времена

Ксения Чилингарова — о том, как мода помогает пережить непростые времена

Текст: Ксения Чилингарова


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Специально для BURO. основательница марки Arctic Explorer Ксения Чилингарова честно рассказала, как мода заменила ей психологов, астрологов,
а Comme des Garçons и Raf Simons помогли пережить трудные времена.

Позвонил друг и сообщил, что после тяжелых рабочих переговоров он зашел в салон «Мерседес» и купил винтажную тачку за двести с лишним тысяч евро. Он красочно ее мне описал и достаточно сумбурно объяснил необходимость в его жизни нового автомобиля. Уровень, подумала я. Я поздравила приятеля с покупкой машины — и мы распрощались. Друг то ли хвастался, то ли искал оправдание своему поступку, а может, просто хотел, чтобы я его пожалела. И меня он выбрал не случайно. Как называет меня мой мужчина, я главный шопоголик страны. Так я снимаю стресс и одновременно захламляю квартиру, где одежда, сумки и обувь давным-давно стали важными квартирантами.

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margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B5E9W6PJK4_/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Ksenia Chilingarova (@k_chilingarova)</a> on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2019-11-20T06:38:50+00:00">Nov 19, 2019 at 10:38pm PST</time></p> </div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>
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margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B3jRepvpDvP/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Ksenia Chilingarova (@k_chilingarova)</a> on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2019-10-13T08:09:04+00:00">Oct 13, 2019 at 1:09am PDT</time></p> </div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>

«Я покупала вещи, как дополнительные жизни в компьютерной игре, где если тебя убили зомби, то всегда есть жизни про запас»

Когда мой брак развалился, мне отчаянно хотелось начать все заново, с новыми силами. Только где эти силы взять? В магазине? Почему нет. Я ждала перемен, хотелось измениться. Любой актер знает, что костюм играет отдельную роль в театре. С его помощью ты превращаешься в кого угодно. Этим волшебным костюмом для меня стала одежда: по мановению волшебной карточки, желательно с кешбэком, она превращает меня в новую себя. Более смелую, более яркую или, наоборот, скромную и романтичную. Я покупала юбки, брюки, платья, туфли, сумки как дополнительные жизни в компьютерной игре, где если тебя убили зомби, то всегда есть жизни про запас. В реальности мы бегаем от неурядиц, бытовых стрессов, маленьких, а иногда и не очень, трагедий, и часто дыхалка в этом марафоне нас сильно подводит.

После смерти очень близкого человека я сломалась. Делиться с людьми было тяжело и как-то внутренне неправильно. Моими друзьями стали Prada, Maison Margiela, Raf Simons. Их вещи были моей невидимой броней, главным поводом для разговоров с друзьями, коллегами, просто любопытными знакомыми. Вещи заботились обо мне, с ними я ненадолго забывала об одиночестве. У каждой выбранной мной вещи была идея, заложенная автором. Мне нравилось угадывать ее, развивать, где-то дополнять и демонстрировать миру. Этот квест превратил меня в какой-то момент из обычного собирателя в коллекционера — поверьте мне, разница между этими понятиями существует. Периодически я чищу свой гардероб, однако с некоторыми платьями эпохи Альбера Эльбаза в Lanvin, Джона Гальяно в Dior и пиджаками Comme des Garçons разлучить меня можно только принудительно. В эпоху разумного потребления, лозунгов за спасение планеты я все время чувствую угрызения совести за желание что-то себе купить. Восхищаюсь смелостью одной своей знакомой, которая заявила в социальных сетях, что ради матушки земли на год отказывается от покупки одежды. Ее меморандум в инстаграме я читала на кассе в КМ20.

«В трудный момент жизни моими друзьями стали Prada и Raf Simons. Их вещи были моей невидимой броней».

<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4t1wXHJYbZ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4t1wXHJYbZ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;" target="_blank"> <div style=" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;"><svg width="50px" height="50px" viewbox="0 0 60 60" version="1.1" xmlns="https://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="https://www.w3.org/1999/xlink"><g stroke="none" stroke-width="1" fill="none" fill-rule="evenodd"><g transform="translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)" fill="#000000"><g><path d="M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631"></path></g></g></g></svg></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style=" color:#3897f0; 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margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4t1wXHJYbZ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Ksenia Chilingarova (@k_chilingarova)</a> on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2019-11-11T07:09:52+00:00">Nov 10, 2019 at 11:09pm PST</time></p> </div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B3jRepvpDvP/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; 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margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B3jRepvpDvP/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Ksenia Chilingarova (@k_chilingarova)</a> on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2019-10-13T08:09:04+00:00">Oct 13, 2019 at 1:09am PDT</time></p> </div> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>

Однажды попав ко мне домой, одна моя знакомая возмутилась. Пренебрежительно назвала мой дом шкафом и предположила (как это обычно бывает — с наилучшими намерениями и любовью), что дешевле было бы обратиться к психологу. Для протокола: я у него была, а еще у астролога, нумеролога и консультировалась у лайфкоуча. А кто нет? Кто в наше время не делал расстановки по Хеллингеру? В общем, уже не помню кто из этих специалистов сказал мне туманную фразу: «Чудеса с нами случаются там, где нашему сердцу хорошо». Что? У меня есть подозрение, что человек, возможно, намекал на места душевной силы вроде сибирской тайги или древнего храма, но в крайнем случае центральной Ленинской библиотеки — вряд ли он думал в этот момент про ЦУМ. А я вот думала.

«Однажды моя знакомая предположила, что дешевле было бы обратиться к психологу»

Чудеса на то и чудеса, чтобы происходить вне ожиданий, правил и стереотипов. В одном из центральных магазинов Нью-Йорка, где-то между Ralph Lauren и The Row, я влюбилась. Сначала я обратила внимание на хорошо одетую девушку: две рубашки, одна одета на другую, кожаный пиджак, узкая миди-юбка — все как я люблю. Осмотрев ее с ног до головы, я наконец-то обратила внимание на ее спутника. Это был брюссельский гриффон, который мне невероятно обрадовался и ринулся целоваться. Честно признаюсь, что усмотрела в этом знак, и вернувшись в Москву, нашла себе своего гриффона. Любовь оказалась бесконечно взаимной, правда, к одежде он крайне равнодушен, а после нашей ссоры из-за любимой пары обуви к туфлям он тоже, к счастью, охладел.

<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B2rwmk2J1x0/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12" style=" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);"><div style="padding:16px;"> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B2rwmk2J1x0/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;" target="_blank"> <div style=" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; 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margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B2rwmk2J1x0/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Ksenia Chilingarova (@k_chilingarova)</a> on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2019-09-21T18:43:34+00:00">Sep 21, 2019 at 11:43am PDT</time></p> </div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>
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border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style=" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;"><svg width="50px" height="50px" viewbox="0 0 60 60" version="1.1" xmlns="https://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="https://www.w3.org/1999/xlink"><g stroke="none" stroke-width="1" fill="none" fill-rule="evenodd"><g transform="translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)" fill="#000000"><g><path d="M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631"></path></g></g></g></svg></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style=" color:#3897f0; 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margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B5kCzI6J-wD/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;" target="_blank">A post shared by Ksenia Chilingarova (@k_chilingarova)</a> on <time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime="2019-12-02T08:22:50+00:00">Dec 2, 2019 at 12:22am PST</time></p> </div></blockquote> <script async src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>

В преддверии Нового года принято давать себе обещания: мол, обязательно займусь спортом, брошу курить, похудею до заветной цифры. Я, пожалую, пообещаю себе верить в чудо. Верить несмотря ни на что. Мечтать и не терять себя, и если для этого надо иногда покупать себе красивое платье или новые туфли, то пусть будет так.

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